Hotter than July

When Ichiro Suzuki was new to the big leagues and just discovering the joys of English, some teammates persuaded him to display his burgeoning language skills to a reporter on a late summer visit to my hometown. “Kansas City in August is hotter than two rats &@*$ing in a wool sock,” he said.

No kidding. This morning, I saw a seven-day forecast on a local television station, and the lowest projected high temperature for the coming week is 99 degrees, which we’re expected to hit twice. The remaining days range from 100 to 104, which, combined with our notoriously stifling humidity, will make those rats seem comfy by comparison.

Here are ten songs appropriate for the coming swelter:

1. “Heatwave,” Martha and the Vandellas
2. “Set the Controls for the Heart of the Sun,” Pink Floyd
3. “I’m on Fire,” Bruce Springsteen
4. “I Melt with You,” Modern English
5. “Gonna Make You Sweat,” C+C Music Factory
6. “Lake of Fire,” Meat Puppets
7. “White Light White Heat,” The Velvet Underground
8. “Hot (I Need to be Loved, Loved, Loved),” James Brown
9. “Hotter than Hell,” KISS
10. “Blister in the Sun,” Violent Femmes